Realistic Expectations

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”

— Arthur Ashe

Today, I stepped back on the track. Once upon a time, I spent a lot of time on these things. I loved the sport and even though my racing days are a distant past (except the sporadic 5K), I still enjoy a good run.

I can’t tell you the last time I ran on a rubber surface to complete a workout. The only reason I did today was because I’m sick of working-out indoors, 400 repeats on a treadmill sounded dreadful (they’re dreadful anywhere to be honest), the facility was nearby, and the kids were occupied so I had a rare moment of time and flexibility.

When I walked onto the surface in the crisp morning air that is all things March, memories flooded in. The feel and smells were all the same. Yes, track has a smell. It felt natural and yet different. As I took off on my first 400, I felt free but carried the weight, both physically and emotionally, different than all those years ago. I finished my lap and my time was off from what it once was. In that moment, I could go one of two ways.

I could choose defeat. You see, I used to measure my progress and success by a personal race against the clock towards goals of a ticket to state or the opportunity to run at the collegiate level. There’s nothing wrong with that. It was once my passion and kept me healthy and motivated. It was what it took to hit those milestones and opportunities that were important to me. However, it wouldn’t be appropriate to measure myself by the same standard today, especially since it was my first time out. I had to remember I now carried the wear and tear of years and miles. The stress my body went through to bring two beautiful children into the world, one of which was a difficult birth. The shift in priorities, the responsibilities, the lessons learned. Yes, much has changed since those days gone by.

Today I decided to go a different way. I chose to celebrate. I still raced against the clock, but I choose a reasonable target for my current condition. I didn’t beat myself up when I came around corners and remembered times I once could hit, but focused on the new time target and finishing the workout. I reminded myself that I had used my time wisely that morning, I had shown up and I had finished the task. I allowed myself to realize that I would see result if I kept up that work and while it may never be what it once was, celebrate what it is today with the blessing and challenges that have come with age. This is hard to do. Old demons and doubts will surely appear from time to time, but keeping expectations high yet realistic is key. A healthy dose of grace never hurt either.

How have you had to change your expectations, standards and goals over the years and how do you celebrate the success even if they look different? I would love to hear what’s working for you. It doesn’t have to be a sports situation, but anything from work, to a hobby, friendships, etc. Post your thoughts in the comments below.

The Marfa Lights - A Fairtale for Adults?

My pail is full when it comes to my “bucket list” of travel desires! I’m slowly checking them off one by one. National parks, natural wonders and history related subjects usually take priority, but every once in awhile, some else, maybe unusual, catches my fancy. This was the case for Marfa, Texas.

By definition, Marfa was historically a ranch town in far west Texas before outsiders found it. You have to really want to go there to get there, and I wanted to get there. Of course you know I love small towns, so that part is right up my alley, but Marfa is known for these mysterious lights. I first learned about the “Marfa Lights” through family, then NPR and other publications. The subject just kept finding me so that was clearly a sign I needed to find them! So I did. And it was awesome.

There’s great debate about what the lights are and if they’re even real. Some theories claim they are ranch lights, cars, trains, static electricity, etc. Supposedly there’s nothing out there. Those who have seen them say there are very much real and can dance across the sky, change color and may even chase each other. Some of the first “recorded” sightings took place in the late 1800s.

There is a lovely rest stop and viewing platform outside of Marfa.. We arrived about sundown to claim our spot. Some say early evening is a good time to get a view. We weren’t the only ones hoping to catch a glimpse. Travel rigs and vehicles gradually streamed in as the last of daylight slipped away.

There’s a lot of waiting that takes place for things like this. We’re not shy so we struck up conversations with those willing interact. The group we visited with were academics out of Austin also there, like us, for fun and adventure on the high desert. We had a great chat and then things started happening, or did they? There were lights, and they might have moved, or did they? Then there were other things that appeared, but were they lights from the highway? Debates started, excitement grew, but can we claim we actually saw them? We don’t know for sure, though we may have seen something!

But, that’s part of the fun isn’t it? Whether we saw something or not, we met some nice people out there on the Chihuahuan Desert, took in some fresh evening air, saw spectacular stars one rarely sees now days with the light pollution, put our phones down and spent time with others. For a moment, time stood still and we escaped the stresses of regular life to take the chance to believe in a fairytale as adults when long ago our imaginations for such things ran dry. And that my friends, was worth the miles, mysterious lights spotted or not!

To read more about the lights, here’s a link from the BBC: The mysterious “Ghost Lights” of Marfa, Texas

Would I do it again? I plan to!

Gorgeous scenery.

Sky turning blue.

Sun’s going down! Let’s get this party started!

I’m not an astrophotographer (another bucket list hobby), but I tried my best with the lacking equipment I had that night. Seriously though, isn’t this incredible?

The marker with a little more explanation.

The gift of time - Happy New Year

This porch. It has been here my entire life. It has offered shade in the balmy southern summers, a place to shelter from the rain, a perch to listen to family laughing and watching them play. This porch can be slicker than ice when wet, cozy when dry, the steps the perfect height for jumping into a pile of leaves and its a miracle that no one has ever been impaled by the wrought iron fencing! Its weathered a lot in its 60+ years of existence and even once survived a fire. It has been a constant as the world changed around me. A place to return to. Roots. It is a gift each time I sit here. It is a gift because I know too well, statistically speaking, that time is no longer on our side. Stats aside, I’m not naive enough to believe it couldn’t be me that brings this relationship to an end. Life is stolen from the young and young at heart alike.

I had the gift to sit here again over the holidays. To smell the lingering aroma of oak from neighboring fireplaces, watch the sun sink in the west while listening to my young family’s laughs from the yard and watch them delight in their time here, just like me when I was young. The memories past and being made before my very eyes are a gift. There was a season when I was young, like many, that I was enamored with gifts under the tree this time of year. I marvel today how experience changes perspective and now the greatest gifts aren’t found under the twinkling lights but are happening here in front of me. Time is a gift indeed and something to not take for granted.

This holiday season is quickly coming to an end and a decade is over in a matter of hours. I pray that days in 2020 and beyond will be time well spent and memories are ones we will learn, cherish and grow from. I hope that we notice the gifts around us that can’t be measured in dollars and cents. May we keep perspective during the daily grind and notice the little things around us while finding joy in this crazy world.

Best wishes to you and yours in this new decade! Thanks for following along!

Big Kansas Road Trip Day 1

A mom friend and I were recently chatting about vacations. Traveling to exotic places - white sand beaches on the coast, anyone? - are great, but require substantial planning and financial commitment. Traveling with little bitties adds another amazing, but challenging component to all the moving parts. In the end, they’re often happiest with the simplest of experiences. Is there another way to travel locally that’s easier on the pocketbook but still offers some awesome experiences for families and individuals alike? The Big Kansas Road Trip may be one answer!

I love small towns. I love to explore small towns. I’m even a product of a small town. However, like many, I’m guilty of buzzing through them on my way to another somewhere. Often its a timing problem and not a lack of interest issue. One area of Kansas I’ve been wanting to see up close for a long time is the extreme northwest corner of Kansas. I pass through the area for harvest, but its usually early in the morning or after hours in the evening. When I saw it was on the Big Kansas Road Trip Route this spring, I knew I had no excuses. It was time to hit the trail.

So what sets the Big Kansas Road Trip (BKRT) apart from just your normal weekend away? Well, the coordinators take most of the planning work out of the equation. That’s a win for me! Agendas and lists of participating locations are prepared well in advance for tourists to review. They spent many months helping local businesses and attractions prepare to roll out the red carpet to their visitors, and sometimes, there are even places available that aren’t normally open to the public! Many of the locations are free or open for a nominal fee or donation. That’s a small price to pay for a fun weekend away, if you ask me! It was SO easy for our family to attend and our we had a great time, on a low key trip, seeing the sights of our great state!

Considering the BKRT to northeast Kansas in 2020? Here are my tips to to a successful Big Kansas Road Trip!

1. Allow more time than you think you’ll need. Chances are you’ll become immersed in something you weren’t expecting!

2. Get to know the people. Really. Have a conversation. Keep an open mind because its ok to visit with others different than you. There’s so much to learn from locals and fellow tourists alike! It creates understanding and we could all use a little more grace, am I right?

3. Don’t be afraid to try something new. Even if its not the thing that interests you the most, live a little and embrace a new opportunity for what it is - a chance for a life experience!

4. Have a schedule, but don’t be so rigid that you can’t bend when new and exciting opportunities pop up on the trail.

5. Create excitement ahead of time. Involve your children or other participants in the planning. That way, when the big day comes there is plenty of anticipation, excitement and everyone will recognize the places you had fun researching!

Below are some highlights from day one of BKRT from Spring 2019!

We got our trip kicked off with photo ops in front of the giant Vincent van Gogh painting in Goodland, Kansas! What’s not to like about art under the sky?

The National Weather Service in Goodland had a great tour and we spent a little more time than we expected learning about all things weather. This is why tip number one, above, came about!

Arikaree Breaks, badlands in northwest Kansas. Pictures don’t do the beauty justice!

Did you know the voice of the Jolly Green Giant, Len Dresslar, was from St. Francis? I didn’t either, but now I do! They can also claim an astronaut!

St. Francis Motorcycle Museum was an unexpected gem! I’m not a motorcycle history buff, but I could appreciate the amazing collection of historic motorcycles and the beautiful and informative exhibits. You could tell the friendly staff really take pride in their museum, and they should!

Even local businesses got in the spirit. The local car dealership in St. Francis offered popcorn to the tourists!

No trip is complete along Highway 27 without a stop at the giant grasshopper and palm tree!

While our first day was finished, our experience was FAR from complete as we didn’t have enough time to see all the area attractions. That is my only regret from the day. But, when a trip leaves you wanting more, I say that’s a success!

Lessons from a Bumble Bee

I was in my parent’s yard the other morning when this bumble bee caught my eye. It was one of the first cool mornings of the season, and this little bee was moving awfully slow. The sun was playing peek-a-boo through the clouds, and the winds were exceptionally gusty, so it wasn’t warming as quickly as we’ve been accustomed. Nevertheless, the bee clung to its Russian sage as it whipped in the breeze all the while trying to do the job it was called to do. I admired its persistence and beauty but had to be a little persistent myself to capture the fuzzy creature in the windy conditions. It wasn’t until I got home and got the pictures up on a larger screen that I noticed the poor bee had a battle scar. It was missing part of its right antenna.

How often do we feel like that little bee? We’ve put in countless hours doing our life work whether by calling or out of necessity. Sometimes we feel we’re moving a little slow from our struggles and while we may not be missing an actual piece of antenna, we feel broken under the strains of life. More often than not, our efforts seemingly go unnoticed and we wonder if it even matters. How do we fit into the big picture?

I’m here to remind you that it does matter and so do you. Sometimes our rewards won’t be seen in this life but the next and that too requires grit and persistence. We might not know how a seemingly small, ordinary action made all the difference to someone who crossed paths with us at the exact moment it was needed. Keep on keeping on, just like that bee and thanks for making this world a better place. You matter.

Burdett, Kansas: Rediscover Pluto Mini Golf - HWY 156

At certain times of the year, I’m on the road a lot. And I mean “a lot-a lot”! As a result, I’m always looking for a safe, fun place, preferably with clean bathrooms, to let the active passengers in the back burn off some energy. One of our favorite little stops is the park of the little western Kansas town of Burdett. If you weren’t aware, and I wasn’t either for many years of my life, it is the boyhood home of Dr. Clyde Tombaugh, the discoverer of Pluto. To honor his great find, Burdett has a Pluto-themed mini golf course in its city park complete with many fun space facts. Now stop. I don’t care which side of the “Pluto is or is not a planet” argument you’re on. In my humble opinion, if someone discovered that tiny dot without the help of our modern technology back in 1930, they deserve a sign and a mini golf course either way!

Onto the park. If you are a connoisseur of carefully manicured greens like those you see at the Masters, this course may not be your thing. But, if you’re a connoisseur of good, clean family fun and can appreciate the effort this little town has made to create a space for locals and travelers alike to enjoy, this is definitely for you! The park is free as are clubs and balls, though you may want to pack a few extra balls just in case you need some spares. Don’t forget to return the equipment to the shed by the bathrooms when you’re through! Speaking of bathrooms, I have found them to be clean when I have stopped. If mini golf isn’t your thing, check out the playground with a wide array of modern and vintage equipment. There are picnic tables under the shelter so you can enjoy a snack in the shade as you watch the kids happily play.

Thanks, Burdett, for giving our family something to look forward to when we travel through the area!

The sign by Highway 156 honoring Dr. Tombaugh for his discovery of Pluto.

Rediscover Pluto Mini Golf!

A quaint little course!

Little factoids add a nice touch to the course.

The picnic shelter is on the left and the bathrooms are in the shade to the right.

A wide array of playground equipment to choose from!

Allow yourself to be served...

One thing we do well out here in flyover country is serving others. A family member passes away, people show up with casseroles, paper goods and hugs. Someone unexpectedly has a crisis and requests prayers, the local church activates the prayer chain and telephones light up in perfect sequence. A family is having a rough day, friends offer to babysit kids and substitute in the school pick-up line. Natural disaster strikes, and hoards of people, many strangers, show up to clean up and often offer their own tools or even clothes off their back. We are servers out here. It is what we do. It is the right thing to do and that urge to serve comes bubbling up from somewhere, not so deep, in our souls.

When an event, large or small, happens to you, is it easy to be served? It is not easy for me. I don’t think it is a pride thing, but merely that we are programmed to do the serving. However, it is crucial that we take on the other role at times and allow ourselves to be served. It is not only a blessing to us, but potentially to the one doing the serving.

A few mornings ago, I received an unexpected gift from someone who likely didn’t realize what she was walking into much less what her simple actions would mean. When a family from down the road wanted to play with my kids and rang our doorbell, we were in the middle of a crazy morning. Normally this would have been a non issue, but on this particular day I had a meeting in little over an hour, a babysitter was coming, my house was a wreck as I was unpacking from the harvest season, breakfast remained out, and we were all in various stages of dress or undress. I simply wasn’t able to visit outside on that morning due to the approaching meeting. Their mother insisted on hanging out with all the kids on my driveway and politely declined to see and visit in the cluster found inside. She asked that I get my work done. I protested but let it go. I allowed her to help me in that moment of overload. To be honest, I NEEDED help in that moment even if it was hard to admit I simply couldn’t do it all that morning.

When she learned of our schedule, she could have easily turned around, said they’d try another day and continued on their bike ride. I wouldn’t have thought a thing of it, and that would have been a normal response. Instead she went above and beyond what was even necessary to help another mom out. I got a few, much needed, moments of alone time to get a handle on the upcoming day (which rarely happens in harvest season). The unexpected gesture and gift of time made a huge difference.

Do you know anyone who could benefit from a simple gesture? Could you be the one to give it? Maybe you’re in need but are you willing to receive a hand up if the opportunity presents itself? Both sides are equally important and we will all find ourselves on either side of the spectrum many times in our lives. We need each other on this journey called life, and that is ok!

Chalk creations in the drive. The physical remains of a sweet gesture. Though rain may wash them away, the memory of kindness will live on.

The Gift of Time

Laying in my bed, all feels right with the world.

Truth be told, its not actually “my” bed, but the one I use when I visit my grandparents. The one that I have used almost every visit my entire life. The bed that is next to the one my brother slept in when we were kids but is now occupied by my two children. This is the house my father and his brothers grew up in. The only place I’ve known my grandparents to live. The house with the large yard with the tall trees, a novelty for a girl who spent all but her first four years of life on the prairie. The house with the hallway that ended with the linen and toy closet, that to my little kid self, felt at least 20 yards long. The house across the pond that must have a million frogs that sing you to sleep each night while the hum of the big trucks on the nearby highway add their own notes to the song. The house that has the sweet smell, like only a place does, that is in a humid environment. The house that is bursting with memories. This is what I have known, always known, a source of peace when my adult reality is a constant state of change.

While this house, this family, hasn’t been without its set of challenges, I’m thankful for the gift of time and the stability it has provided on this side of eternity. I know how fortunate we have been. Purely from a numbers game, time is no longer on our side. But was it ever? I’m no longer naive enough to think that the time clock runs out only for those advanced in their years. I know each moment we’re given can’t be taken for granted.

But for this moment, I push all that aside. I’ll savor the sound of my sweet babes as their breath falls heavy as they sleep. I’m thankful that they too can make memories in this house and experience the love of the people in it. I’ll soak up the scent of this room and store it away in my mind. And I’ll let frogs and trucks serenade me to sleep just like they have done for 30+ summers. I’ll drift off with thankfulness in my heart that once again, we were given the gift of time to bottle up another round of summer memories, in this house, with these people.

The peaceful sounds of night from the porch of my grandparent’s house.